Volunteered for Haiti Today

A good friend invited me to go pack meals for Haitian families today with his family. We did assembly lines throughout an empty warehouse with hundreds of other people.  Considering it was in my community, I figured I'd at least see one other person there that I knew.  Surprisingly, I didn't recognize a single face. My friend got the feeling that we were working alongside church going people.  At that statement, I then understood why we hadn't recognized anyone.  ;P

Location : Pingree Grove, IL 60140,

I Need a Purpose

It's Valentine's Day. I'm unemployed and sitting in a bathrobe on the couch while my husband is asleep in our bedroom.

We've been covered in snow for months now. I'm going stir crazy sitting at home by myself with the two dogs.  Only one of the dogs makes me happy. The other one is slowly killing me.

A girl from high school died last week. I didn't know her well, but her Facebook account is public. I wish I knew how she died. Aside from having a great job, beautiful face, and a loving boyfriend,  you can tell by her pictures that she was an extremely pleasant and happy person.  Why did God choose her? Was it a tragic car accident? What did she do?

I lay awake at night wondering why I'm alive. I can't imagine what purpose I actually serve. Aside from a handful of people, I doubt I'd be missed if my end came tomorrow. 

I don't want to be in my bathrobe right now. I don't want to be overweight and depressed. I want to travel the world and get my hands dirty. I want to help others less fortunate than me. I looked into volunteering for Haiti, but they'd much rather have my cash than my presence.  And once we start trying for a baby, I wont be able to travel the world.

How can I be useful now? Where can I work and have passion for what I do? When will I get out of this rut?

I want to be happy like the girl from high school.  If I could trade places with her, I would. She was 24 and had so much going on. I can't see the point in life while I'm living it. Maybe one day I will look back on this period and understand.


Location : Pingree Grove, IL 60140,

Tight Money Situations & The Usual Family Drama

The hubby and I got ourselves into a bad financial situation this month. Between his old job and new, he had 3 weeks of no pay. I'm on unemployment, and that doesn't pay for much. We had to burn through our savings account pretty quickly. On top of that, we had a flat tire, Vonage hidden fees, an extended warranty on my diamond engagement ring of almost $200, and some other strange items show up this month without budgeting.

Even though our income combined is more than it was last year, it's going to take a few payroll cycles to get our savings account back and comfy. I went to my mom for help since our bank account needed cash to make some utility and loan payments, but she could not get the money from her savings account immediately. So, I went to the brother I feel I am the closest to, but he might disagree. Upon asking him for money, I was told NO. He then proceeded to plan a road trip or something to Florida with my other brother. I left their house feeling extremely upset that my baby brother refused to help. We have the cash coming within the next two weeks, so I'm not trying to borrow cash without repayment.

Driving home, I just cried over the fact that my 3 brothers (who all live within 20 minutes of me) really don't care about me or my life. None of them cared to go to my wedding. Everything they do in life is top secret from me. It's depressing. My mom made a phone call to my oldest brother, and he luckily came through on the loan. I don't know what I did to have my brothers generally dislike me so much, but that's one of the many reasons I want to move out east. Where's the family support where I'm at? In the past, I've had to beg brothers to come over to my house. It just seems like the family bond is gone between us. It probably didn't help that my three brothers grew up idolizing my dad and disrespecting my mom. I'm expendable I guess.

Finding a Job Sucks Right Now

So, I'm looking for a new job. It's a lot harder than I remember it being. I guess that's because I'm trying to find a good one now verses accepting anything I can find.

1. My first requirement for the job would be earning more than my UE benefits pay. That money is a lot less than what I was earning, but I don't expect to be making tons of money off the bat. 
2. My second requirement for the job would be potential for promotions. Since I'm looking to start a career in something new, entry level is all I can expect. I don't want to be a receptionist because there's no vertical climb involved.
3. My third requirement is steering clear of any sales/marketing/networking jobs. I don't have a persuasive bone in my body, and I don't want a job that doesn't have a clear pay scale. I don't want my pay getting based off quotas. I don't like the risk.

That being said, the job market isn't good near me as with most of the country. I live in Suburbia. There aren't any chic office buildings near by. We have factories/warehouses, and retail/food establishments. Most retail near me is paying minimum wage and looking for cashiers. I'm a college graduate and require more for my mortgage.

I've applied to some promising jobs on Craigslist. None have responded. I've applied at two major customer service call centers. One turned me down because I wasn't bilingual, and the other gave me an interview and computer assessment. Since the assessment, the HR contact has yet to return my calls. It was also more than an assessment. There was a personality quiz at the beginning, and I never, ever pass those. In high school, I was prescreened by Home Depot and Walmart. Both companies denied me prior to any interview because of my responses on those quizzes. I realize the tests have questions to see if you'd violate company policy or law in the future. Since I don't tend to steal or lie at my job, I don't think it's fair to cut good people out before giving them a chance to interview and work.

So anyway, I posted an ad on Craigslist with my resume and also a listing to walk dogs locally for cash. I've received nothing but spam from my resume offering work at home deals, and I've had 1 positive response for the dog walking ad.

Where are all the fun, exciting, and challenging jobs out there?

Budgeting is Harder Than I Thought

My unemployment benefits expire at the end of June. Since we want to start making babies, I would really like to find a job before my body has a chance to tell the interviewer about my "situation". While the baby-making isn't happening yet, it's just another worry I have on my mind.

With my hubby's new job and my current UE benefits, we're doing ok. Over the weekend, I made a conservative budget and was trying my best to NOT use my UE benefit money. I want to plan for the day it runs out. I want to save the excess in a savings account, so if that day happens and I don't have a job, there will be a little money to live off of for a bit.

Unfortunately, I couldn't budget without the money. We're just too tied up with liabilities right now. Because of the new home purchase and wedding stuff, there's just some things we haven't purchased yet that really can't wait. For instance, the 4 tires on my car are bald. We've been holding off on buying new tires because we really didn't have the spare cash. Also, my wedding dress is interest free until July. I haven't put a dime towards that yet.

One thing we can fix right away is our eating habits. I use mint.com to evaluate my financial situation, and there are WAY too many fast food joints and restaurants listed in my transaction history. It's sickening how much we spend on that stuff. Usually, we go out because we've each had a bad day. We just want a nice, comforting, quick and easy meal. Other times, we order pizza delivery or whatever because we've run out of "real meals" in our kitchen and don't want to make a trip to the store.

These habits have to stop. We need to stock up on more food choices. We need to each play devil's advocate whenever one of us gets the urge to dine out. It's going to take work, but we just cannot afford it. I'd say we can't afford it anymore, but all along - we couldn't afford it....