We had a wild, crazy, drunken night during our recent travels. Protection was not packed because we had absolutely no intentions of having sex. Things only got worse from there.
The following morning, I woke up feeling scared to death. I had felt bad after we finished, but I was still drunk and out of sorts. The sober me began calculating some numbers. I figured I'd be due in February of 2012. I thought about how alcohol was in my system and what that might have done to the egg/sperm. I thought about how I haven't taken prenatal vitamins since I stopped breastfeeding and what that might do to my reproductive organs. I thought about how we hadn't picked out a new boy name yet and how we hadn't planned this pregnancy. Aside from stealing my energy and excitement away from our wonderful new baby, I was also stealing all the planning and preparation from our future second child. Why did we work so hard at making sure Brycen was perfect and planned and not care at all about our second child? How would that make our second child feel? And how could I spend the next 9 months of my son's life being extremely fatigued and focusing mainly on an upcoming new baby. How dare I be so selfish! Everything about this pending pregnancy was wrong. My husband suggested we go and buy Plan B to prevent the fertilization from even occurring. At that idea, I quickly said "no way." A huge part of me believes in fate and doing what God has planned for us. If I used Plan B, I would forever wonder if I physically prevented the birth of our second child. I may be pro-choice, but I know we could technically handle and welcome and love another baby right now. I just don't want one. We skipped the Plan B idea, and Aunt Flo showed up a week later. I have never been so excited to see red before!
Lessons Learned from this Pregnancy Scare
I've learned more about my will power concerning baby fever. Yes, I think about having another baby every day of my life. I am loving on my current baby, and I am dreaming of the next one. However, I want to make sure the next baby is just as planned as our last. I want our names to be picked out ahead of time again. I want to pray about our future child using his/her name like we did with Brycen before he was conceived. I want to make sure my body has been receiving proper nutrients via eating healthier, drinking lots of water, and taking prenatal vitamins. I still have my list (see here) of things to accomplish before our next child comes, but having a name and preventing birth defects needs to absolutely come first for me. I'm a planner by nature. I like setting goals and making sure I follow them. An unplanned pregnancy would still be wonderful, but it's not an ideal situation for our family.
No comments:
Post a Comment