October 22, 2011

Feeling Down and Lonely Today

It's a beautiful Fall Saturday, and I'm feeling extremely alone. My husband left for work right after lunch, and my son is getting into everything. I had no errands to run or money to spend, but I so desperately wanted to get out of my house. I couldn't think of one person to spend time with today. My family is all busy on the weekend. My good friends have plans going on. My bad friends want nothing to do with me. There's no local mall nearby to walk around in other than the one with gang bangers and vacant stores. I had no where to go.

My house is literally filled with clutter. I want to empty it out. I want to simplify and minimize. The baby is crawling after our dog and our dog is aggressive. I have to constantly monitor their interactions. When the baby isn't chasing the dog, he's trying to shove dirt from the floor or electrical cords/plugs into his mouth. I wish I could take my son somewhere for a few hours, so I could get some stuff done around here. When my husband is home, we sleep in, take our time getting ready, run errands, come home and relax, and go to bed early. There isn't much productivity in that regard.

I just wish I had more going on in my life. I actually wish I could stop being friends with my "bad" friends, so I wouldn't be so disappointed when they never called or wanted to come over. I'm sure my depression falls right in line with the weather getting worse and our money situation getting tighter and tighter. There no sunshine or retail therapy in my future.

October 9, 2011

Baby #2 is a GIRL!

We were scheduled to go on October 11th, but my husband had a day off last week. He mentioned the fact that it was "too bad" we couldn't get the ultrasound done that day because our afternoon was wide open. So, I was inspired. I told him to call the ultrasound center we went to with our son to see if they had any openings that afternoon. The location of this ultrasound center is pretty far from our home. My appointment was for a location 10 minutes away, but the earliest they could see me was October 11th. Anyway, the long distance center said they had several openings, so we packed up the baby and jumped in the car. Due to traffic and construction, we were 30 minutes late. Even then, they had no problem squeezing us in.

While waiting, another couple came in with their son. Turns out, this woman was due 4 days after me and her son is only a week or two older than mine. So, there must be something in the water out here. :)

Anyway, we quickly got into the u/s room and I lied down. While the tech was entering my information, I was telling her how we had tried to make a girl, but I had an overwhelming sense it was a boy. I had been dreaming about "my boys" and trying to predict how this one would differ from my older son.

The tech began scrolling her wand over my belly and it was so nice to see a healthy baby in there. She was scrolling over the leg region, and I was seriously looking for some boy parts. I couldn't see any, and the tech mentioned she knew what the gender was but needed a better shot to prove it. She then suddenly froze on the three lines above, and told us we're having a baby girl! My jaw dropped. My heart stopped. My husband was holding our son up by the screen. I honestly thought I was incapable of making a daughter. Girls are so very rare in my family and in my husband's. I'm the only girl out of 4 children. My husband only has 1 other brother. I just thought I was destined to raise a household of boys.

The tech offered to show us the 3D view but wouldn't print out the picture for free (like last time). The 3D view looked very different from my son's picture. My son's picture had big, round cheeks. This one had no cheeks but more of an alien head shape with a very pointed jaw. I have a feeling she will look more like me since my hubby had passed his cheeks onto our son.

When left the room with our one picture, they handed my son a pink "it's a girl" balloon. I did a quick video of him shaking it around for my other birth club group on facebook since those girls were waiting on pins and needles for my results.  In the car, we immediately called my mother-in-law, father-in-law, and brother-in-law. After that, I placed calls to my father and mother and finished with text messages to all my sisters-in-law. From there, it was announced on facebook.

I keep having dreams that I'm stealing dresses and other girly baby clothes from people's homes because I don't have any. My family is beyond thrilled, and my husband is very 'meh' about it. I'm not sure what his deal is, but I hope he starts showing some excitement.