So, I'm up a little bit earlier than necessary today. I just saw the Fiance off to work, and I figured I'd do a little updating before getting showered and ready for "work". I already left a comment in my last post in reply to the drama. My "pretty beach elopement" has grown legs and run off on me. My future sister-in-law wanted to throw me a bachelorette party. I told her that I'm really against the idea and purpose of bachelor and bachelorette parties. So, we agreed to do a mutual party with everyone including dinner and drinks out at a bar. To help iron out the details, she asked if I wanted to meet for coffee this weekend. I would love to meet for coffee to go over this stuff since I really only see her when she's around my brother. Well, rather than ironing out details then, she logged onto Gtalk to start asking who's invited, what time, where we're going....etc.
So, she didn't outwardly say it, but I think she was trying to avoid doing something on Saturday. We've tried hanging out before, and it never works out in the end. There was a time she agreed to go to a meeting with a local "Ladies Social Group," that I was somewhat scared to do alone. I got showered, dressed, started working on my hair and wham! She canceled 1 hour beforehand via text message.
So, I just feel extremely weird with every detail of this marriage plan. It wasn't even my idea to have this party, it was her's. Why would you offer to plan a party for someone you're afraid to hang out with??
So yeah. I over-analyze everything all the time. I know that. My future sister-in-law just confuses me. She asked me to be one of her bridesmaids, and I originally said no due to my social anxiety issues (which are majorly affecting my ceremony). She got upset that I said no and was being rude to me and my fiance soon after my "no thanks." So, I'm taking depression meds and working on putting myself out there more. I met her in person and told her I would be honored to be her bridesmaid if the offer still stood. She jumped up and down and said YES and was excited.
Then, about 4 weeks later, I get a text from her asking if I'm still interested in doing it and that it's ok if I don't want to do it anymore. I hate repeating myself, and I hate that she didn't take me seriously when we were talking about the bridesmaid decision. This is just one example of her re-asking me for details, which I've previously thought we both already discussed.
Sorry, I guess this is a venting post. It all started with me waking up around 4am for no reason and then seeing the Facebook message which is referenced in the previous post's comment box.
I should probably log off and take a chill pill. Have a great day!!!
August 28, 2009
August 22, 2009
Big Day
I've learned now that the wedding day is never really the bride's "Big Day." No matter what she's been dreaming of since her days of playing with Barbie, there are going to be people surrounding her and telling her how it's gonna be. I've tested this theory personally. As a control, I've made it a point to avoid any big day drama. I've made it quite clear that I want something small and intimate. I place more value on the marriage aspect and very little value on the money-waster that is, a traditional wedding day.
Upon making my point clear and also stating that we plan to marry, I've dealt with nothing but stress and drama. Those around us that proclaim their love are my biggest war enemies. This problem isn't limited to my side of the family or his side. On both sides, I face battles of individuals trying to force their ideas and values onto my little, intimate, Big Day.
Whether it's guest list problems or location problems. I have defend and justify my wants and desires. I want a select few to witness the ceremony, and I want it to be somewhere nice. I don't want to hear about localizing it nor about how I should begin inviting family members I've never even met. This day is about the fiancé and me.
Because I've lived through this experiment, although we almost canceled everything due to an attempt to increase the guest list, I can finally understand where the Bridezilla comes from. It's a girl who has to push and shove her way through the daily drama of friends and family trying to change her dreams of her wedding day. By the end of it, no one is there to support her because she didn't compromise. She stepped on toes to get what she wanted.
I tried to avoid all that drama by making things small, but in the end, it happens no matter what.
Upon making my point clear and also stating that we plan to marry, I've dealt with nothing but stress and drama. Those around us that proclaim their love are my biggest war enemies. This problem isn't limited to my side of the family or his side. On both sides, I face battles of individuals trying to force their ideas and values onto my little, intimate, Big Day.
Whether it's guest list problems or location problems. I have defend and justify my wants and desires. I want a select few to witness the ceremony, and I want it to be somewhere nice. I don't want to hear about localizing it nor about how I should begin inviting family members I've never even met. This day is about the fiancé and me.
Because I've lived through this experiment, although we almost canceled everything due to an attempt to increase the guest list, I can finally understand where the Bridezilla comes from. It's a girl who has to push and shove her way through the daily drama of friends and family trying to change her dreams of her wedding day. By the end of it, no one is there to support her because she didn't compromise. She stepped on toes to get what she wanted.
I tried to avoid all that drama by making things small, but in the end, it happens no matter what.
August 9, 2009
We Bought My Wedding Band
Originally, I liked the wedding band of my previous post which you can see in the top picture. I found a 10% online coupon, and the total price came up to about $950. That price felt too high for me, so we went back to the jeweler that is creating my engagement ring. Upon entering, we asked to see if my ring was done being built yet. It wasn't, but all the pieces were in. I tried the empty setting on my finger, and it fit wonderfully. Later, when the ring is finished, the BF can go in to pick it up. I won't see it or wear it until he proposes, which is definitely a good thing.
Today, I was able to wear my engagement ring setting while trying on wedding bands to get a good look and feel for what I want. As it turned out, they had a band in my size with a contour look to go around my big setting. I asked about swapping out half the diamonds for sapphires, which would give it more of the look I was going for. The first problem: switching out the stones would make the total ring cost twice as much as the sales price. Also, they would then have to ship out the sapphires from my engagement ring to color match sapphires in the wedding band. Shipping the sapphires out would push back the completion of my engagement ring for another TWO WEEKS! I just hated that thought of still not being engaged while I'm busy planning the marriage ceremony. So, we bought the ring with just straight diamonds. Here's a picture of it:
Here's a picture of my setting with no stones in it:
The contour is nice because the large size of my diamond in the engagement ring. I want the bands to be more flush than to be spaced apart. I won't really know until after I've officially been proposed to. Now, I just get to take the wedding band in and out of the box every so often. I should note that the wedding band is 14k White Gold and the engagement ring is Platinum. They look fine next to each other, and I didn't have to go over budget with the cheaper metal. The expensive diamond has the nice metal, and that's all that matters.
Today, I was able to wear my engagement ring setting while trying on wedding bands to get a good look and feel for what I want. As it turned out, they had a band in my size with a contour look to go around my big setting. I asked about swapping out half the diamonds for sapphires, which would give it more of the look I was going for. The first problem: switching out the stones would make the total ring cost twice as much as the sales price. Also, they would then have to ship out the sapphires from my engagement ring to color match sapphires in the wedding band. Shipping the sapphires out would push back the completion of my engagement ring for another TWO WEEKS! I just hated that thought of still not being engaged while I'm busy planning the marriage ceremony. So, we bought the ring with just straight diamonds. Here's a picture of it:
Here's a picture of my setting with no stones in it:
The contour is nice because the large size of my diamond in the engagement ring. I want the bands to be more flush than to be spaced apart. I won't really know until after I've officially been proposed to. Now, I just get to take the wedding band in and out of the box every so often. I should note that the wedding band is 14k White Gold and the engagement ring is Platinum. They look fine next to each other, and I didn't have to go over budget with the cheaper metal. The expensive diamond has the nice metal, and that's all that matters.
August 8, 2009
Gift Registry
The bf and I just registered at Bed Bath & Beyond at his mom's request. We made the mistake of bringing my best friend with, and she grew bored within 15 minutes of us looking through the dinnerware section. Couples should definitely go about scanning registry items alone.
I morally had a problem going to BBB. Everything there is completely overpriced. I completely went through the entire bedding department without scanning anything. The bf and my friend had to force me to use the scan gun on an $80 picture frame I liked. Once I saw the pricetag, I couldn't imagine anyone wasting that kind of money on it.
One big benefit to BBB is that anything purchased off our registry can be returned for cash. So if someone buys that one plate out of the entire set we picked out, we can just return it and buy plates elsewhere.
When we got home, I logged into the website and started adding and removing items. I changed the bedding completely. We also couldn't find ANY dishes that matched our tastes. The website had so much more to choose from.
We don't want to tell our friends and family about the registry until we're at least engaged. Considering we aren't inviting people to a wedding, I doubt we'll really get much.
I morally had a problem going to BBB. Everything there is completely overpriced. I completely went through the entire bedding department without scanning anything. The bf and my friend had to force me to use the scan gun on an $80 picture frame I liked. Once I saw the pricetag, I couldn't imagine anyone wasting that kind of money on it.
One big benefit to BBB is that anything purchased off our registry can be returned for cash. So if someone buys that one plate out of the entire set we picked out, we can just return it and buy plates elsewhere.
When we got home, I logged into the website and started adding and removing items. I changed the bedding completely. We also couldn't find ANY dishes that matched our tastes. The website had so much more to choose from.
We don't want to tell our friends and family about the registry until we're at least engaged. Considering we aren't inviting people to a wedding, I doubt we'll really get much.
August 6, 2009
I Found THE Dress!
I honor of Amanda's blog, I thought I'd copy her idea to show off my dress. I tried on 5 yesterday and walked out of the store with my very own gown! In my head, I had always wanted a white dress. I found one I liked online and it was discontinued and only available in ivory. So, I made an appointment to see just how ivory it was.
As it turns out, I didn't buy the original dress, but I tried on a bunch of ivory dresses. The 5th dress I tried on was white, and by that point, the ivory looked white to me and the white looked too blue-ish. So, here's MY dress, dress #4.
So, I'm getting married on a beach and it'll be very low key. I saw pro photos of other ceremonies on the beach that I'm going to, Malibu Beach, and the girls with real gowns looks so beautiful. My idea of buying a cheap, white sundress just wasn't an option anymore.
This dress will have the pick-up bustle on the back end to keep it from dragging through sand.
As it turns out, I didn't buy the original dress, but I tried on a bunch of ivory dresses. The 5th dress I tried on was white, and by that point, the ivory looked white to me and the white looked too blue-ish. So, here's MY dress, dress #4.
So, I'm getting married on a beach and it'll be very low key. I saw pro photos of other ceremonies on the beach that I'm going to, Malibu Beach, and the girls with real gowns looks so beautiful. My idea of buying a cheap, white sundress just wasn't an option anymore.
This dress will have the pick-up bustle on the back end to keep it from dragging through sand.
August 2, 2009
Trying to Buy a Garage
We received a letter in the mail from our Condo sales associate last weekend. The letter stated they were having a garage sale. When we first bought our home, they told us garages (which are detached but nearby) would be either $13,000 extra or $16,000 extra depending on which size garage we wanted. At the time, I was maxed out with the mortgage monthly payment and didn't want to make it any larger. So, we declined a garage. This letter stated that garages were now, either $5,000 or $6,000. These numbers are definitely more manageable, but I wasn't sure they had any empty garages near our unit. We live in a more filled out and busy section of the neighborhood. There are many empty garage units, but those are where the new construction is getting worked on. No one lives there yet, which is why the garages are empty.
I went immediately to the sales office and discovered there is one quite close to our walkway. I went home and called the bf to discuss. We both would love the garage because these condos have very little in storage options. Our closets are small, and we have junk we're just not ready to part with. Because of that, we've got plastic totes everywhere. Our dining room was a storage room for the longest time because we didn't have the money for a dining set. Now that we have one, the junk is stacked against a wall. Aside from storage, we'd love to have a place to put garage-like items. We want to work on landscaping, but I can't buy a bunch of gardening tools because there's no where to put them. We don't buy a lot of car stuff because our parking spaces are outdoors. We'd also like to buy a used freezer or something to store bulk freezer items like normal households do. Because of our limited storage, we have to buy higher priced, lower-quantity items.
Not only is there a purchase price for the garage, but it adds an additional $33.00/month to our association fees. Mathematically, we need to work on some budgeting for this. We're considering the fact that these garages will cost less than the ones others have already purchased. So, when we decide to sell our home in the future, our resale value will be more in-line with our neighbors, and we wouldn't have spent the same amount of money.
I went immediately to the sales office and discovered there is one quite close to our walkway. I went home and called the bf to discuss. We both would love the garage because these condos have very little in storage options. Our closets are small, and we have junk we're just not ready to part with. Because of that, we've got plastic totes everywhere. Our dining room was a storage room for the longest time because we didn't have the money for a dining set. Now that we have one, the junk is stacked against a wall. Aside from storage, we'd love to have a place to put garage-like items. We want to work on landscaping, but I can't buy a bunch of gardening tools because there's no where to put them. We don't buy a lot of car stuff because our parking spaces are outdoors. We'd also like to buy a used freezer or something to store bulk freezer items like normal households do. Because of our limited storage, we have to buy higher priced, lower-quantity items.
Not only is there a purchase price for the garage, but it adds an additional $33.00/month to our association fees. Mathematically, we need to work on some budgeting for this. We're considering the fact that these garages will cost less than the ones others have already purchased. So, when we decide to sell our home in the future, our resale value will be more in-line with our neighbors, and we wouldn't have spent the same amount of money.
August 1, 2009
P.S. Still Waiting
I am still waiting for my bf to broach the topic of marriage with his family. Maybe he'll read this entry today and try to call them....
No Longer Recycling Rings
I received a engagement ring and the wedding band of my great grand-mother. I was hoping to take the diamond out of her engagement ring and create something new (which is happening.) I also thought it would be sentimental to take her wedding band (Plat with channel-set round diamonds and use that as my wedding band. Not only did I like the idea of using the same ring she had on, but I thought financially, this would save us hundreds of dollars.
Well, upon showing my mom the wedding band and how I planned to recycle it, she pulls out a box of old jewelry and shows me a section of diamonds and platinum that she had a jeweler remove from my wedding band. The two rings come from my father's side of the family. My parents have been divorced since I was in Kindergarten. During their marriage, they received these rings from my grandfather with the intent on gifting them to me in my dad's will. Well, my mom felt the need to parade around town with these two rings on her right hand while she was married to him rather than leave them somewhere safe for me. In order to wear them, she had to take them to a jeweler to get them resized (and smaller) for her hand.
So, upon seeing the section of my ring, I asked for it. She snatched it out of my hand and immaturely hid it somewhere in her kitchen, I believe. She refused to give it to me, claiming it was her's. Again, she's divorced from my dad and has no relation to the woman who actually owned these two rings. I guess it's just principle, but I don't want my wedding band with my marriage to be partially owned by my mother the rest of her life. She guaranteed will never take it to a jeweler. She claims she's saving it in case she needs the diamonds to repair other pieces she owns. I bet, that section of my ring will stay in her jewelry box until she dies.
I made it quite clear to her that my ring felt special when I thought it was from my great grand-mother. To hear that my greedy mother actually had it altered and wore it around everywhere makes me sick. To then know she refuses to give me the rest of the ring out of spite just gives me a bad juju vibe with the band. Now, I have to get my own wedding band.
The bad news: I have to spend more money. The good news: I can find a wedding band that will incorporate sapphires in it like the engagement ring and like Ryan's wedding band. I have found three pictures of rings I like. The first picture is of the most closely resembled ring that I own now. I will have the jeweler custom make my piece and use my diamonds from my ggma's wedding band.
I like the top two more than that bottom one. I think it will all depend on how the wedding band will look and feel up against my engagement ring. I don't want anything feeling bulky or clunky nor do I want two rings that refuse to align with each other.
Another option I wouldn't mind would look something like this:
I would just have it made with every other diamond being a sapphire. I would have extra diamonds, which I could then gift to my little brother or something. I think this style would help to keep the ring attached to my engagement ring, but again, I won't know until I can try some bands on my finger with the engagement ring already on.
What are you thoughts?
Well, upon showing my mom the wedding band and how I planned to recycle it, she pulls out a box of old jewelry and shows me a section of diamonds and platinum that she had a jeweler remove from my wedding band. The two rings come from my father's side of the family. My parents have been divorced since I was in Kindergarten. During their marriage, they received these rings from my grandfather with the intent on gifting them to me in my dad's will. Well, my mom felt the need to parade around town with these two rings on her right hand while she was married to him rather than leave them somewhere safe for me. In order to wear them, she had to take them to a jeweler to get them resized (and smaller) for her hand.
So, upon seeing the section of my ring, I asked for it. She snatched it out of my hand and immaturely hid it somewhere in her kitchen, I believe. She refused to give it to me, claiming it was her's. Again, she's divorced from my dad and has no relation to the woman who actually owned these two rings. I guess it's just principle, but I don't want my wedding band with my marriage to be partially owned by my mother the rest of her life. She guaranteed will never take it to a jeweler. She claims she's saving it in case she needs the diamonds to repair other pieces she owns. I bet, that section of my ring will stay in her jewelry box until she dies.
I made it quite clear to her that my ring felt special when I thought it was from my great grand-mother. To hear that my greedy mother actually had it altered and wore it around everywhere makes me sick. To then know she refuses to give me the rest of the ring out of spite just gives me a bad juju vibe with the band. Now, I have to get my own wedding band.
The bad news: I have to spend more money. The good news: I can find a wedding band that will incorporate sapphires in it like the engagement ring and like Ryan's wedding band. I have found three pictures of rings I like. The first picture is of the most closely resembled ring that I own now. I will have the jeweler custom make my piece and use my diamonds from my ggma's wedding band.
I like the top two more than that bottom one. I think it will all depend on how the wedding band will look and feel up against my engagement ring. I don't want anything feeling bulky or clunky nor do I want two rings that refuse to align with each other.
Another option I wouldn't mind would look something like this:
I would just have it made with every other diamond being a sapphire. I would have extra diamonds, which I could then gift to my little brother or something. I think this style would help to keep the ring attached to my engagement ring, but again, I won't know until I can try some bands on my finger with the engagement ring already on.
What are you thoughts?
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