Mommy's Little Girl

Possible face of V

I didn't get the dream relationship between mother and daughter growing up. I also didn't have any sisters to bond with. The cycle ends with V.  Unlike my childhood, V will be shown just how much her Mommy wanted her and loves her. Here's a list of activities I'd like to one day do with her in no particular order:

Go shopping together
Go to salon together
Pick out school dance dresses together
Pick out wedding dresses together
Have talks about how beautiful/smart/wonderful she is
Talk to her about her changing body
Teach her to respect herself before dating begins
Go on weekend trips together
Paint our nails
Sing loudly in the car
Take her to boy band concerts
Have weekend chick flick movie nights
Talk about boys
Plan sleepovers with her
Help her with homework
Help her figure out college plans
Let her know I'm always there when she needs me
Lecture her on all the life lessons I've already figured out ;)

Overwhelmed By Life

For the past several weeks, I've felt moments of happiness, moments of depression, and moments of utter nothingness. I find myself spacing out and hoping for some big moment to occur --some life changing event. While most people with this feeling usually work up the energy to get something done, I just sit and ponder what my purpose here on earth is. I look around and no longer question if I'm doing things right. I don't think I am. To say I feel like I'm letting everyone in my life down would be an understatement. I'm not a good worker to my employer. I'm not a good wife to my husband. I'm not a good mother to my son. I don't even think I'll be a good mother to my daughter. I'm already setting her up for disappointment. So instead of fixing my thoughts and making them better, I just sit here waiting for change. Change isn't coming. Problems are growing around me. Clutter is growing around me. Bills are getting larger. My body is getting larger. When I find myself thinking about how horrible things feel, I almost want to slap myself. I am so lucky to have the life I lead. It actually depresses me more to think about how ungrateful I am. No amount of caffeine or sleep seems to wake me up from this. 

Money is extremely tight right now, and I know my part-time work hours are not helping at all. I am not contributing like I should. When I get home from barely working any hours, I feel like crashing. I usually lie down while my son cruises and crawls circles around me. I meet his demands of food and diaper changes while occasionally making him laugh or smile. I have zero energy. I'm having issues surrounding myself with family. My family is constantly complaining about money or measuring people by their incomes.  I don't like hearing how "bad" my rich brothers have it because it only makes me feel lower. I want to escape the life I'm living, but I'm the one who chose this life. I chose to get married and have kids and move into my condo. If I'm unhappy, I can only blame myself. 

I've had ideas for positive blog posts I'd like to write on here, but I'm not in the right mental state to do any at the moment. I have a raging migraine and want nothing more than to fall asleep until March 2012. Since I can't do that. I will just log off.

No Nap Wednesday!

I'm beginning to think I have nothing positive to say anymore. I'm feeling overwhelmed more today than ever. My little man woke up on the wrong side of the crib. He's been cranky all day and fighting naps. Even if I finally get him to nap, he's been sleeping light. Any noise I make causes him to stir and start crying. He wants nothing to do with me but isn't happy when I move around the house. I just wish I knew what he wanted. Because he's tired, he's falling into things including my diamond ring. He's got two big scratches on his forehead. As the holidays start hitting and the days get shorter, I fear it's only going to get worse.

Utterly Confused with Food Allergies

Rash on back

My 11 month old son has issues digesting some form of food. I figure posting about it here might help me organize my thoughts better.

Symptoms:

• Lots of gas
• Screaming in pain until gas drops are given
• Writhing in pain
• Gas issues usually occur in evening or overnight
• Red Dots on skin (back and chest/abdomen)

Possible Causes Issues:

• Gluten
• Dairy
• Amoxicillin (Newly considered)

Elimination Diet & Notes


At the end of October, we decided to cut all gluten out of his diet. Since he barely eats solids/finger foods on his own, he's been relying mostly on formula to sustain himself. The formula he drank, Similac Advance, had dairy in it but no gluten. We gave him cheese as snacks as well as fruits/veggies and other table scraps not consisting of bread. The gas pains went away, and we did not have to give him any gas drops throughout the day. Gluten appeared to be the primary factor.

Four days into his elimination diet, he woke up screaming with pain around 3am. His stomach sounded like a thunderstorm, and within 10 minutes, the gas drops had helped him release some pressure. We tried to evaluate what he ate and figured he'd been given too much Chocolate Chiffon pie. The dairy and chocolate were probably just too much for his system. I was then told by a friend that gluten intolerance can really upset the sensitivity of a digestive tract. With that, even after my son was free from gluten, his stomach could be damaged and sensitive to other strong foods like dairy. So, his gas pains after being gluten free could technically still be associated with the gluten damage from days prior.

Two weeks into November, we decided to cut dairy out altogether. We didn't think he was allergic or sensitive to it, but we wanted his system to have a chance to heal. We switched him to Soy formula and stopped giving him milk, cheese, yogurt, etc. He had also developed a cold and ear infection. He began taking amoxicillan orally.

After a week of no diary combined with no gluten, we decided to reintroduce dairy. On Friday night, I gave him some shredded cheddar cheese in a bowl as a snack. Several hours later, I was changing him for bed and noticed red dots all over his chest. I figured they were related to the massive amounts of drool he had in his shirt. I rolled him over and looked at his back only to find more dots everywhere. The rash didn't appear to bother him at all nor did it feel raised on his skin. To be sure, I gave him some Benadryl and stopped the dairy intake.

I assumed he'd have gas pains on Friday night but surprisingly slept solidly until morning. Before lunch, he had a really smelly diaper. The color was dark green, which is consistent with dairy sensitivities, but it was not frothy or mucousy like a dairy sensitivity. Other than that, the rash was still there but gas was not.

Fast forward to tonight, Sunday, and the rash is still there. My son finished his amoxicillan this morning, so that won't be in his system after tonight. We've noticed his diapers have been really heavy and smelly. I've attributed the heaviness to how much formula my son drinks to supplement his lack of solids eating. The smell is really pungent. I was assuming the smell was caused by the antibiotics he's on. If the smell doesn't clear up after today, I will start getting worried.

So far, I can't tell if he's truly allergic to the dairy or not. Apparently, when someone is allergic to amoxicillan, the reaction can take 5-10 days to appear. So, the reintroduction of dairy couldn't have happened at a worse time.

Plan of Action

My husband and I are going to again visit our pediatrician. We asked her months ago whether or not our son had a reaction to gluten, and her only recommendation was to stop giving it to him. She didn't recommend testing or give us instructions for elimination and reintroduction. I've basically been doing all this "testing" on my own with the help of online friends and the internet. I am very upset that my son is the guinea pig because he deserves to be treated by a real doctor. I'm told there are blood tests that help rule out gluten and dairy sensitivities. I'd like a professional to figure this out rather than me. 

My Son Doesn't Want Me

The past two weeks, my hubby and I decided to go on a road trip to the east coast. We wanted to visit family and scope out our hopeful next move location as a family. Many things happened during the trip, but only 1 thing stuck out in my mind and cut me to the core.  My son didn't want me at all.

The entire 10 days, B wanted nothing but Daddy. He wanted to be in his arms. When he was passed around family (who are like strangers to him), he would arch his back, squirm and cry. It's a natural reaction for people to hand a baby like that off to Mommy. Unfortunately, when he got into my arms, he did the same exact thing. If Daddy got into his sight, he would squeal and cry. Everyone kept commenting that he must be a "Daddy's boy." After carrying him for 9 months, and being the parent most often home with him for the last 11 months, I can honestly say this hurt far worse than any mommy blues I had after birth.

I know each parent dreads the day their child says, "I HATE YOU!" However, I realize that in those situations, the child is just angry about something and really doesn't understand how to voice their opinions properly. In the case of my 11 month old son, he truly didn't want to touch me or be near me. He's not at an age where he is pretending to feel a certain way. During the trip, he proceeded to fall asleep in my mother-in-laws arms and my father-in-laws arms. He has NEVER done this with me. I must release a pheromone that says, NOT MATERNAL!!!

Friends on my mom board have gone through similar things with their children and said it was only a phase. I'm pregnant and hormonal, and it really hurt my feelings. While I'm sitting like a lazy, fat cow on the couch, my husband was on the floor playing with our son. Family members looking at us probably thought my son's feelings were justified. Given my back issues and this pregnancy, I am spending a lot less time sitting on the floor. Things lock up and then I can't stand up. When someone says, "Where's Daddy?" my son immediately looks at my husband. When someone says, "Where's Mommy?" He just looks confused.

When we got home from our trip, my son slightly fell over and bumped his head on the coffee table. While crying, he began crawling to my husband. I said, "See, he's hurt and only wants you." My husband replied with, "Maybe if you picked him up after he hurt himself more, he'd want you too." This set me off emotionally. I got up, went to the bathroom, and curled up into the fetal position on our bed. I couldn't turn the tears off. I just felt like a complete failure. My husband realized after a while that I was gone and decided to bring our son in to see me. This made matters worse because my son didn't want to see me. He didn't want to let go of his clutch on my husband's shirt. Seeing him cry as my husband tried to bring him closer only tore me up more.  It was our wedding anniversary too, so I totally felt like dying.

I just got the impression that I was the evil step-mom to my son somehow. And I also thought about the fact that my daughter will come out and probably treat my husband the same way. In that regard, I just feel like a host carrying these babies to term until they can latch on to their dad. I don't care if it's just a phase. If I weren't pregnant and not the female anyway, this would still be hurtful. I know there are many babies who have issues bonding with their dads. I didn't think the same was true for their moms. Being rejected by my innocent little baby has probably been the hardest issue I've ever had to face in my life.

Feeling Down and Lonely Today

It's a beautiful Fall Saturday, and I'm feeling extremely alone. My husband left for work right after lunch, and my son is getting into everything. I had no errands to run or money to spend, but I so desperately wanted to get out of my house. I couldn't think of one person to spend time with today. My family is all busy on the weekend. My good friends have plans going on. My bad friends want nothing to do with me. There's no local mall nearby to walk around in other than the one with gang bangers and vacant stores. I had no where to go.

My house is literally filled with clutter. I want to empty it out. I want to simplify and minimize. The baby is crawling after our dog and our dog is aggressive. I have to constantly monitor their interactions. When the baby isn't chasing the dog, he's trying to shove dirt from the floor or electrical cords/plugs into his mouth. I wish I could take my son somewhere for a few hours, so I could get some stuff done around here. When my husband is home, we sleep in, take our time getting ready, run errands, come home and relax, and go to bed early. There isn't much productivity in that regard.

I just wish I had more going on in my life. I actually wish I could stop being friends with my "bad" friends, so I wouldn't be so disappointed when they never called or wanted to come over. I'm sure my depression falls right in line with the weather getting worse and our money situation getting tighter and tighter. There no sunshine or retail therapy in my future.

Baby #2 is a GIRL!

We were scheduled to go on October 11th, but my husband had a day off last week. He mentioned the fact that it was "too bad" we couldn't get the ultrasound done that day because our afternoon was wide open. So, I was inspired. I told him to call the ultrasound center we went to with our son to see if they had any openings that afternoon. The location of this ultrasound center is pretty far from our home. My appointment was for a location 10 minutes away, but the earliest they could see me was October 11th. Anyway, the long distance center said they had several openings, so we packed up the baby and jumped in the car. Due to traffic and construction, we were 30 minutes late. Even then, they had no problem squeezing us in.

While waiting, another couple came in with their son. Turns out, this woman was due 4 days after me and her son is only a week or two older than mine. So, there must be something in the water out here. :)

Anyway, we quickly got into the u/s room and I lied down. While the tech was entering my information, I was telling her how we had tried to make a girl, but I had an overwhelming sense it was a boy. I had been dreaming about "my boys" and trying to predict how this one would differ from my older son.

The tech began scrolling her wand over my belly and it was so nice to see a healthy baby in there. She was scrolling over the leg region, and I was seriously looking for some boy parts. I couldn't see any, and the tech mentioned she knew what the gender was but needed a better shot to prove it. She then suddenly froze on the three lines above, and told us we're having a baby girl! My jaw dropped. My heart stopped. My husband was holding our son up by the screen. I honestly thought I was incapable of making a daughter. Girls are so very rare in my family and in my husband's. I'm the only girl out of 4 children. My husband only has 1 other brother. I just thought I was destined to raise a household of boys.

The tech offered to show us the 3D view but wouldn't print out the picture for free (like last time). The 3D view looked very different from my son's picture. My son's picture had big, round cheeks. This one had no cheeks but more of an alien head shape with a very pointed jaw. I have a feeling she will look more like me since my hubby had passed his cheeks onto our son.

When left the room with our one picture, they handed my son a pink "it's a girl" balloon. I did a quick video of him shaking it around for my other birth club group on facebook since those girls were waiting on pins and needles for my results.  In the car, we immediately called my mother-in-law, father-in-law, and brother-in-law. After that, I placed calls to my father and mother and finished with text messages to all my sisters-in-law. From there, it was announced on facebook.

I keep having dreams that I'm stealing dresses and other girly baby clothes from people's homes because I don't have any. My family is beyond thrilled, and my husband is very 'meh' about it. I'm not sure what his deal is, but I hope he starts showing some excitement.

First Trimester Done!

Baby #2 at 9 weeks

I'm officially 13 weeks pregnant with Baby #2. I'm gaining weight due to my poor eating habits and lack of exercise. I swear, it's either too hot or too cold outside. I no longer feel comfortable baby-wearing Bryce, so if I want to walk with him, I have to use a stroller. I started feeling quickening last week. Once I realized what I was feeling, I tried another attempt at a fetal heartbeat. It worked! My friend loaned me her monitor and I have been trying since 7 weeks to get something. I wasn't trying very often because it usually took 15 minutes of searching with no success. With this recent testing, I was able to find the fast heartbeat within 60 seconds. It was so reassuring to finally find it and hear it. Here's the video of my reading:




I have yet to record my first interview style video for Baby #2's DVD. I have a DVD for Bryce featuring clips of important people or events of my pregnancy. The first video on his DVD was me talking about how I felt and how we tried to get pregnant. I want to make sure Baby #2 gets to hear his/her story as well as see how big (or small) their brother Bryce was during the interview.

I've noticed with this second pregnancy that things are less important to me. I'm not as obsessed with remembering how far along I am, how much water I'm drinking, how many nutrients I get each day, and how big the baby might be each week. Days and weeks are just flying by. My brain is obsessed with Bryce because he's here and now in the present. The pregnancy will result in a baby next March, so I spend most of my time focused on Baby #1.

I went to a party today for a young girl, and there were babies everywhere from ages 9 weeks up to 3 years old. The crying, screaming, squealing and other random noises were hard to take. The parents were chasing after their kids and cleaning up their messes. It made me feel even better that my 2 kids will be close together in age. Every year of my second child's life will be the final year I'll have to deal with whatever child stage they were in. At some point, my bottle days will be over. My diaper days will be over. My toilet training days will be over. The larger the gap between my two kids, the longer I have to wait for those stages to end. I'm not a "kid" person, but I love my son with everything I have. I will equally love my next child. I want to raise them to be good people, and that is what I'm most looking forward to. I'm hopeful that this "kid" stuff will blast by me like every parent says it does since I won't be able to handle much with 2 young kids in tow.

It Feels like Another Boy Pregnancy

Baby Boy

Call me crazy, but I feel like this pregnancy might produce another boy. I've recently had some eerie thoughts that have been matched by real life events. Just this morning, I was ticked off that my SIL's status message song lyrics were stuck in my head. I decided to turn the car radio on to get a new song stuck instead. Guess what? That same song was blaring on the first station that came on! I couldn't escape it. Also, I have moments of complete and utter silence at home while playing with my son. Then, I'll immediately think about my husband and BOOM, my cell phone's blaring with a notification that my hubby is chatting with me!

Physically, I'm just feeling very masculine on the inside again. Last pregnancy, I was hoping for a girl and didn't know if I was feeling my hopes or feeling the opposite. This time around, my opinions on gender are pretty much 50/50. The only fear I have is finding out there's more than one baby in there. Let's not even think about that right now. If we find out it's a girl, I'll know that my intuition is horribly off. We'll scramble to find girly things and mentally prepare ourselves for kids of both sexes. If my intuition is right and it's a boy, I will then turn my imagination on full throttle, so I can start imagining how similar and different he'll be from my first son.

I did a baking soda gender pee test. You put baking soda in a glass at the bottom and you pour some of your pee on top and give it a swirl. If you're a girl and not pregnant, it won't fizz. If you're a boy, it'll fizz. If you're pregnant with a boy, it'll fizz. If you're pregnant with a girl, it won't fizz. It's an old wives tale, but I didn't mind trying out something free. My mom tested the girl theory, and her's didn't fizz. My hubby tested the boy theory, and his fizzed. I did the test and got lots of fizz like a Coke can. My hubby's cousin also took the test. She's two weeks behind me in pregnancy and also got fizz. They have a daughter who just turned one, so she is hoping for a little boy to add to the family. She's super excited that it fizzed, and I'm more blasé with it. I pretty much expected it to fizz. LOL This pregnancy had some differences early on from my last, but now it's feeling more similar. My cravings for dairy are back with a vengeance.  My calves are starting to hurt if I walk too fast. I'm tired, but I don't nap nearly as much as I did last year. Last year, I was unemployed with no children. I was able to nap all day long every day of the summer.

We won't know gender until some time in October. We're planning a trip to visit my husband's family, and we were considering revealing the gender to them in some creative capacity. Last year, they missed every big announcement because we live states away. I figured, it would be nice to let them be the first to know.

Miserably Sick

Aside from the flu I got in January, I don't think I've been this sick for over two years. It's horrible. My husband got sick and brought it home. I didn't think much of it until he got our baby sick. This is my son's first cold, and he's so helpless. He coughs, he sneezes, his nose runs, he can't breathe through his nose, and he can't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. The nasal aspirator really bothers him, so it's hard to get him to sit still when using it. He can't blow his nose. He doesn't understand what's going on at all. It's hard to watch. His face is white, and his eyes are glassy and bloodshot. I got sick a day after he did. I've had a three day weekend before starting my new job, and aside from a quick family breakfast on Saturday, I haven't left the house. I barely even go outside.

My husband has been working strange, long hours. I have zero energy to do anything, and I can't get any solid sleep. Because of my pregnancy, I can't take any cold medicine either. It's been an overall miserable experience. I'm considering calling in sick to my new job tomorrow. My head is throbbing, and my nose won't stop running. Bryce is on a feeding strike due to his congestion, so I'm finding it hard to fill him up. When he's not full, he wakes up more. He needs fluids but refuses to drink out of his bottle. He bats at the solids I try to feed him and rubs everything into his nose and eyes. Ughhh. If there was ever a time I wanted a maid and a nanny, this would be that time.

New Chapters!

My last blog post was related to two different things going on in my life. One was obvious to family and the other was top secret. I don't know if my family can find my blog anymore, so I have to really watch what I type.

The more important of the two new items is MY PREGNANCY! I'm pregnant again! I'm so glad our attempts at trying to conceive worked this time around. We had a moment in May where I could have gotten pregnant, and it was so scary not being able to plan it. With the announcement of this pregnancy, I've had my fair share of questions related to whether this was planned or an accident. How could anyone possibly PLAN to get pregnant 7 months after having a baby. Surely, this was a big oops! Well, we did plan it. We bought ovulation test strips and we followed some methods to encourage a girl fertilization. I don't want my babies to be happy surprises. I want them to be happy accomplishments.

We only want two kids. My mind is forever dreaming about my two children growing up and doing things together. If my pregnancy is successful, they will be 15 months apart. I don't want to drag out pregnancies or baby things. I don't want to hold on to all this baby gear forever. I want to use it, reuse it, and sell it. My son will never remember life without his sibling. I love that my son is growing so fast. The more he learns, the more excited I get. Sure, I'll miss his baby stage, but that's why I take so many pictures and videos of him. I long for the days where my kids come running up to hug me on my way home from work. No way do I want to raise Bryce to be 3-4 years old before starting this process again.  When my next child comes, Bryce will still be a baby. He won't be a crazy toddler screaming for attention. Sure, he'll be more difficult than he is now, but nothing like the terrible two's and three's.

My first doctor's appointment isn't until August 24th. It's hard waiting that long, but in the end, I'll have a nice clear picture of the ultrasound. Going in too early makes for a very boring image. I keep having dreams that I miscarried. Last night was very visual. It was as if I was inside my uterus and could see the lack of development. I'm not feeling pregnant. I'm not extremely tired, hungry, sick, bloated, emotional, sore, etc. To be honest, the lack of period and the positive pregnancy tests are the only two things reminding me I'm pregnant. I know, lack of symptoms is probably much preferred to having too many. However, I really wish I could feel pregnant. I'm generally worried about things, and I have to wait almost a month before finding proof. If I do miscarry, I can already predict the horrible comments of, "it's your body's way of telling you that you shouldn't have tried so soon." No woman wants to hear that her body rejected a pregnancy for a good reason. We'll cross that bridge if we need to.

My other news is I quit my job and went back to the family business. This new job is the same pay and hours as the last one. My schedule is different, and it's much closer to home. My son won't need to be driven back and forth every day. I will be able to call off work whenever I please. I can come in later if needed or stay later if needed. My family understands that I need the money and the flexibility. There's negatives to working there, but I'm going to do my best to avoid feeling negative or allowing myself to get wrapped up in family business drama. I just want to work to bring home money, and I don't want to take the flexibility for granted. I know working anywhere else would be much harder.

Limbo

Which way do I go?

I'm very much in a state of limbo with several issues in my life. I feel like there could be some major changes in my near future, and I don't know if they'll be good or bad. My fate rests in God's hands. I've discussed some changes with family, and I really can't tell if I'll be better or worse off when it's all said and done.

I pray every night for some positive changes. I feel like I'm ready to conquer any new challenges, but I'm getting a sense that disappointment is right around the corner. Gah!

This week is catalyst week. If anything good or bad is happening, it starts now.

I Don't Like Lying to My Blog

I had to completely revamp my blog and it's domain name today. I've been noticing on my tracker that certain ISPs from nearby were logging onto my blog via direct link. It was confirmed today when my mother tried yelling at me for a post I made. While this blog is published on the internet for all the world to see, the anonymity allowed me to treat it like a personal diary. Whether I'm feeling up or down or just emotionally charged, I turn to this blog to write how I feel. My mom and I are not close, and she is not someone I trust with my innermost thoughts and feelings. I sadly had to change all my links and even my blog name in hopes of shaking her off my trail.

There's certain things going on in my life that I'd love to actually write about on here. I just don't know if it's secure enough yet. In the mean time, I've decided to write blog posts and post date them for future releases. This allows me to get out how I feel without the truth disturbing my family.

The Belly That Won't Quit

I've come to the surprising conclusion that my body is different after becoming a mother. ;( While I may be getting closer to my prepregnancy weight, my belly still looks and feels like a spare tire. Before, it was easier to suck in and didn't pop out so much on the sides.

With my current weight loss, my pants are getting looser in the legs but are still tight around the middle. I don't quite understand it. Yes, of course I understand how stomach muscles get stretched and all that. It feels more like fat than like loose muscle. My pants are either falling down or rolling down all day due to this reverse hourglass.

 I will continue to lessen my food intake each day, but I'm going to try and cover up this belly situation somehow. I have a sister-in-law who likes to tell me about how big her sister is after having twins. I can't help but wonder what my family says about me. :(

My Husband's Clone: My Son

Brycen Watching TV

I must admit, every time I hear someone tell me my son looks like my husband, I get all warm and fuzzy inside. I don't know if that's a normal reaction to such statements, but it feels good to know that all the traits I find attractive about my husband have passed onto his son. When my husband is working 12 hour days, it's good to be reminded of him when my son stops paying attention to me because the t.v. is on. (poor me!)

 I took this picture to capture his ability to zone out during t.v. time (just like Daddy) and to capture his Daddy-esque profile. I can't get enough of this little man. I can't believe he's almost 7 months old. He's recently prone to clinging to us while we carry him.

It feels so validating as a parent to have your child actually hug you back. When I go to put him down for a nap or a diaper change, I have to face the reality that he's squeezing onto me somewhere ---and I love it!

My Weight History and Progress

One of my goals before even considering another pregnancy is to get my body back to a weight under my last pregnancy. Even before TTC for Brycen, I was well overweight.

May 2010: I was 196 lbs at 9 weeks pregnant. At 12 weeks pregnant, I had dropped to 192 lbs. Although I don't know my true pre-pregnancy weight, I base my calculations on the earliest recorded weight, or 196 lbs.

December 2010: I maxed out at 242 lbs during my last doctor's appointment before Brycen's birth. The appointment was approximately 5 days before he arrived, but that was my last recorded weight.

January 2011: My 6 week post partum checkup clocked me in at 210 lbs. During this time, I resized my wedding rings from size 7 to size 8.

June 2011: I am sitting at 200 lbs. It feels so good to be within 4 lbs of my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm supposed to eat around 1200 calories per day, however I am usually over that amount.  I roughly burn about 2000 calories a day, so any consumed calories less than 2000 helps me go down on the scale. I've also noticed my wedding rings are getting looser and easier to remove. I fit into pre-pregnancy jeans, but my stomach is larger than it was last year. The muscles are stretched out, and that won't change without some serious ab strength training. I'm going to focus on shedding pounds before I tackle that hurdle.

BMI: My BMI is roughly 27.9. I need to be less than 25 in order to be "normal" and not "overweight".

I'm actually glad to write about this topic. I think it helps keep me honest and motivated. We won't be making another baby anytime soon, so as long as I stay on this lower calorie plan, I will be at a safe weight range for the next pregnancy. Ideally, I'd like to be under 175 lbs, but I need to set realistic and smaller goals. Baby steps, if you will...

Pregnancy Scare & What It Taught Me

Pregnancy Scare

We had a wild, crazy, drunken night during our recent travels. Protection was not packed because we had absolutely no intentions of having sex. Things only got worse from there.

The following morning, I woke up feeling scared to death. I had felt bad after we finished, but I was still drunk and out of sorts. The sober me began calculating some numbers. I figured I'd be due in February of 2012. I thought about how alcohol was in my system and what that might have done to the egg/sperm. I thought about how I haven't taken prenatal vitamins since I stopped breastfeeding and what that might do to my reproductive organs. I thought about how we hadn't picked out a new boy name yet and how we hadn't planned this pregnancy. Aside from stealing my energy and excitement away from our wonderful new baby, I was also stealing all the planning and preparation from our future second child. Why did we work so hard at making sure Brycen was perfect and planned and not care at all about our second child? How would that make our second child feel? And how could I spend the next 9 months of my son's life being extremely fatigued and focusing mainly on an upcoming new baby. How dare I be so selfish! Everything about this pending pregnancy was wrong.  My husband suggested we go and buy Plan B to prevent the fertilization from even occurring. At that idea, I quickly said "no way." A huge part of me believes in fate and doing what God has planned for us. If I used Plan B, I would forever wonder if I physically prevented the birth of our second child. I may be pro-choice, but I know we could technically handle and welcome and love another baby right now. I just don't want one. We skipped the Plan B idea, and Aunt Flo showed up a week later. I have never been so excited to see red before!

Lessons Learned from this Pregnancy Scare

I've learned more about my will power concerning baby fever. Yes, I think about having another baby every day of my life. I am loving on my current baby, and I am dreaming of the next one.  However, I want to make sure the next baby is just as planned as our last. I want our names to be picked out ahead of time again. I want to pray about our future child using his/her name like we did with Brycen before he was conceived. I want to make sure my body has been receiving proper nutrients via eating healthier, drinking lots of water, and taking prenatal vitamins. I still have my list (see here) of things to accomplish before our next child comes, but having a name and preventing birth defects needs to absolutely come first for me. I'm a planner by nature. I like setting goals and making sure I follow them. An unplanned pregnancy would still be wonderful, but it's not an ideal situation for our family.

Related articles

• Women who start prenatal vitamins early are less likely to have children with autism (esciencenews.com)

Family Plans are Looking Up

Brycen meeting his Great Grandpa

What have we been up to?

We flew halfway across the country to visit my husband's side of the family. His grandfather was terminally ill with bone cancer. We received a call telling us his bones were 90% cancer and 10% bone and that chemo would not be used any more. We are so lucky and thankful to have had a week with his grandpa. Our son was able to meet him. We have video footage and several photos. Grandpa was able to say how handsome his great grandson was and how wonderful it was to see us. We flew home after one week of visiting. The next morning, my husband got a text stating Grandpa had passed.

We finished out our work week and flew back out the following Friday. His funeral and services were on Saturday. My son provided the comic relief when everyone was crying. Some time during the funeral, he decided to pass some loud gas. After 5 or 6 people came up and spoke, the minister asked if anyone else had any kind words or memories to share. That's when Bryce said, "ahhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." It had everyone laughing.

Flying With a 5 Month Old

We didn't really have time to prepare for the first flight, so we mistakenly over packed. We had two checked bags, two carry-ons, 1 stroller, 1 car seat, 1 big diaper bag, 1 camera, 1 laptop, and my purse. The flight to and from our destination went surprisingly smooth. I thought for sure that it was a fluke. Upon the landing of both flights, we had strangers standing up and telling us how wonderful our baby was and how he did such a good job. We researched ahead of time and found that giving him baby Benadryl before the flight would help him sleep more. Our flights were 4 hours each, so we needed a sleepy, happy baby.

Our two flights the following weekend went ever BETTER than the first two (if that's even possible).  We packed much lighter for this weekend trip. We packed 2 carry-ons, 1 diaper bag, 1 purse, 1 stroller, and 1 car seat.  On all four flights, there were other children and babies. I heard many of those other children screaming and crying during takeoff or landing. My son was either sleeping through the pain or giggling during it. I've read that parents fear traveling with children due to anxiety and stress more than how the children actually end up behaving. During each flight, I was terrified Brycen would get gas and have hours of inconsolable screaming. My husband was a dream. He held Bryce for most of the flights and made sure the fussing was kept at a minimum. Upon returning home, we discovered 1 luggage bag was now missing a wheel, the stroller had a piece of rubber from the handle burned off, and the car seat was missing a bracket to hold the straps in tight. We were so tired of traveling and not being home, we didn't even care enough to file a report.

Related articles

• I Have No Routine for My Baby (thinklikealady.com)
• Supporting a Loved One With Bone Cancer (everydayhealth.com)
• Bone Cancer Symptoms (everydayhealth.com)
• Giveaway: A Cool Stroller from Bumbleride (A $490 Value!) (celebritybabies.people.com)

I'm Feeling Detached from Life

Image by jon|k via Flickr

Wow. I just wrote an entire blog post out about how much of a failure I am at parenting. My shirt is soaked with tears, and I decided to just delete everything. To summarize, I feel like my baby loves my husband more, and I feel like my husband is a better parent than I. While my hubby is busy taking care of my baby, I'm the one floating off in the distance. At work, when everyone is busy either working or gossiping, I'm the one not paying attention to either. I zone out when I drive too. Everything is routine and mundane. Instead of being excited about something new and different, I get anxious and freaked out. Today was my first experience of wanting to curse and scream and cry during a meltdown but not being able to. I was home alone with my son. I most definitely don't want him seeing me unstable, so I held him and smiled. This was actually the first time I've ever missed being a non-parent since December. There are so many "luxuries" people give up once they become parents, but I was more prepared to give up most things. I really only miss having my private time to be immature or ridiculous without worrying about how it's affecting someone else.

My facebook account has now become a daily baby update page. I already know it's annoying for my friends to read. I really DON'T want to post about my baby all the time, but it's difficult finding interest in anything else. I actually spend most of the time on my cell phone looking at a secret facebook group full of women with December babies. I could have never predicted that these women would become some of my closest friends. Since finding each other on iVillage, we've shared some of the deepest, most intimate secrets and details of our lives. I would be completely and utterly lost without those women and their daily baby topics.

Clearly, I'm still lacking a spark or passion for anything right now. That seems to be an ongoing problem in my life. Just realized I have 15 minutes until my husband gets off work and wonders what I've done with my night. Let's ignore the fact that we have a flight to catch in 8 hours. :(

Related articles

• Gender-Free Baby: Is it O.K. for Parents to Keep Their Child's Sex a Secret? (healthland.time.com)
• My New Hobby: Getting Baby to Smile (thinklikealady.com)
• The unknown gender of Baby Storm (hotair.com)
• Have You Seen This? Baby named 'Like' ()
• Boy or girl? Family keeps baby's gender a secret (moms.today.com)

Not on Same Life Path With Husband

Image via Wikipedia

I've come to the conclusion that what I want in life differs from what my husband wants in life. I think we used to be on the same page, but it's evident now that we're not even in the same book. I've mentioned before on my blog that my hubby decided to re-enlist in the Marines. We met with a recruiter last November. My husband's only obstacle is physical fitness. He's not only overweight, but he hasn't been to a gym in forever. He needs to drop some serious pounds and also lift weights. Once he's ready for the testing, he will contact the recruiter and get everything scheduled. Since he's already served 8 years in the USMC, the retread would be pretty sweet for our family.

Unfortunately, my husband has not taken the goal of weight loss and bettering our family seriously. It's almost like he's eating more food now to punish me because he knows how badly I want a better life for our family. Yesterday, he was great and went running. I decided to walk the same path while wearing our baby. We had bread and Brie cheese for lunch, which wasn't the best. After that, I took our dog on a joyride in the car. Our dog, Kegger, hasn't been in a car since I was pregnant back in November. So, this was an extra special treat. I told my husband I was going to Starbucks. This would give me a good place to drive to and would give me the daily coffee fix I require. I thought about buying my husband his staple Frappuccino, but I remembered he had finally gotten some exercise in that day and didn't want to completely neutralize it's benefits.

I got home, and my husband didn't seem upset at all. He got showered and ready for work. I took over the baby duties while my husband kissed me goodbye. We chatted an hour or so later. I asked him if he made any pit stops on his way to work. "Yes," and, "Starbucks," were the only words he muttered. He decided to go because I had gone.  He was probably secretly upset that I didn't buy him anything or that I didn't think of him. Add this situation to the fact that my husband has been secretly buying junk food and snacks at local gas stations and grocery stores without telling me. When we go shopping, we both mutually agreed that junk food isn't healthy for us. My husband is a total hypocrite by agreeing with me at the store and then going out and devouring it behind my back.

While my husband probably thinks his actions are no big deal, they're actually killing me inside. My outward self tries to be positive and optimistic. I love my husband, I love my son, and I'm thankful for the life I live. My inward self hates that I have to rely on my husband to be happy. I hate that I've got all my eggs in one basket. Because I'm so depressed about living where I live and working where I work, I am extremely irritable. Every little thing my husband does sets me off. I snap at him, and I nag all the time. It's because, deep down, I hate myself. I'm disappointed in the life that I lead each day. I'm unhappy that we live in a tiny 2 bedroom condo. I'm unhappy that I work part-time doing something meaningless. While I'd like to be a SAHM, I'd much rather be making serious money doing something full-time. Working PT just to make ends meet is dumb in my opinion. We spend money we don't have on things each month. We don't have any savings set up. If my husband earned more or if I worked a real job, there'd be breathing room in our budget.

I believe it's my husband's duty in this marriage to be honest with me and tell me what he wants. I don't want him pretending to care about goals that I've set when his heart's not in it. We can't go on like this forever because I will practically bite his head off one of these days. If something doesn't change soon, I'm afraid I'll be the one to make some serious changes...

Related articles

• Free Daycare from Grandma Drama (thinklikealady.com)
• Starbucks: Half-Price Frappuccinos 3-5 PM (5/6-5/15) (hip2save.com)
• My Son Lifts My Spirits (thinklikealady.com)

I Have No Routine for My Baby

Brycen is almost 5 months old now, and we are still co-sleeping. He wakes up several times each night and drinks formula from a bottle. He'll drink and pass out again. Due to my husband's work schedule, he doesn't come home until around midnight. From there, he spends time with our son while we prep for bed. I'll sometimes shower at this point knowing he's home to watch the baby.

Since I network with other mom's of 5 month olds, I know that we have no schedule or routine --and it's not normal to be like us. I hear that other moms know when they're feeding their babies. They know when and how long each nap is. Their bedtimes are set at times ranging from 7-9pm. Many moms have babies that don't wake up to eat at night. They sleep 6-8 hours without a problem.

In our house, we have no clue when Brycen eats. When he cries, we give him a bottle. When he's tired, we let him fall asleep. When he is no longer tired, he wakes up. Prior to now, we were told to do everything "on demand" based on his needs. Now, he's getting to an age where he may be expecting certain things regardless of if he really wants them. So, I started a web form that my husband and I have bookmarked on our phones. We always have our phones on us, so this makes it easy to log activity. I have check boxes for starting naps, finishing naps, drinking formula, eating baby food, changing diapers (and what kind of diaper), and also when he gets bathed. All we do is check of a box on whatever activity we're logging and click "submit". I get a spreadsheet report that shows exactly what was done and when. The system isn't perfect. If we forget to log something, it looks strange. If I'm driving and our son falls asleep, I'm not about to pull over to log it on my phone.

We're looking at the previous day's logs and trying to work something into a routine. I'd love to get our son sleeping earlier, but that doesn't help us in the morning since our son will be waking up earlier while we're still going to bed late.

We would also like to transition our son into his crib sometime soon. He's getting to an age where he can wake up and look around for us. I want him to feel secure in his crib while looking up at his nursery walls.

Obviously, parenting is different for everyone. This is a big, stressful topic for me because I really had no clue that other moms were keeping up routines and schedules. I don't want to fall behind with parenting skills and lessons. Brycen needs to learn when he should expect food and sleep to feel more secure, and we are working hard at giving him that stability.

Things To Do Before Getting Pregnant Again

What my dream stomach would look like

1. *Move out of this house
2. **Get skinny again
3. ***Brycen must be at least 1 year of age
4. ***Become a SAHM

*This isn't an absolute necessity, but I would much prefer it before getting pregnant.
**This is something I need to take care of to better myself. I want my next pregnancy to be better than this one. I know what to expect, and I don't want to weigh 242 lbs again.
***These are absolute requirements. I don't want to miss out on Brycen being a little baby. I also don't want to figure out working schedules when the next baby comes home. What we have now is great, but the daycare nightmare we had before can't repeat. I don't want to work PT, but the money is needed right now. If we move out of our house, it'll be because my hubby has re-enlisted in the USMC.

My New Hobby: Getting Baby to Smile

I know it's lame, but getting my son to grin at me is my favorite new activity! I don't know if it's emotions or perhaps the way I was raised (in a broken home), but when I'm alone with B and he smiles, I get teary eyed. Luckily, he just sees me smiling and ignores the tears running down my face. I honestly don't want to cry when he smiles, but each time it hits me with such a force. He's all mine. He was a gift from God. Somehow, he chose me to be his mommy.

I really believe he chose my hubby and I to be his parents. I prayed for him before we started trying to conceive. I prayed for our future child to choose us when he/she felt we were ready to be parents. He timed everything perfectly considering we share the same birthday.

No matter how unhappy I might be with my current living situation, I let it all fall away when I look at my son. Sometimes, his look back to me makes me wonder if he's looking through his infant eyes with an adult mind. I wonder sometimes if perhaps when we die, we're allowed to go back in time to look out into our old memories --sort of like time traveling. When he looks deeply into my eyes, he could easily be trying to see what his mom was like when she first started being a parent.

Related articles

• Mommy It's Me...Don't let them rip me from you.No, mommy, no #prolife #prochoice #parents #kids #internationalwomensday (littlebytesnews.blogspot.com)
• Brave Little Soul (suzyfreakinghomemaker.wordpress.com)
• Another Mommy Confession (elderwiggins.wordpress.com)
• Pregnancy Hormones - The Teary Type (nurturingcareermama.wordpress.com)
• What Makes A Mother- a poem (imprintsontheheart.wordpress.com)

My Baby and Fatbooth!

Fatbooth app using my baby boy

I can't stop cracking up with this picture! I saw Fatbooth was used by a friend on facebook, so I downloaded it for free on my Droid. After taking a picture of myself, my husband asked that I try our son. I'm sure he'll hate me for this later, but it's just so gosh darn cute and funny!

Related articles

• FatBooth app Lands on Android: Get Fat Instantly (appscout.com)
• FatBooth App for iPhone (brighthub.com)
• What Would Paris Hilton Look Like If She Was Fat? (iphoneappcafe.com)

15 Week Old Baby

My little sunbather

My son is roughly 15 weeks and 2 days old. I had to do a ticker to figure that out! I've grown accustom to just saying 3.5 months old. With pregnancy and early mommy-hood, I really obsessed over the weekly counts. Everything is moving like a blur now. Each day, my son is doing something new. I can't keep up.

Our baby book hasn't been updated for his 3 months. I'll try to log what I can remember in this blog, so I can reference it again later.

Let's see, by three months he was laughing in short chuckles, smiling with a big toothless grin, and making occasional sounds. He had started to fall into a more recognizable pattern throughout the day. He was going to bed around 1am and officially getting out of bed around 9am. The wakeups still vary throughout the night. He's awake in the morning with a diaper change, feeding, clothing change, and some playtime either in our arms or with toys on the playmat. There's a nap that follows, and he was usually getting driven to/from daycare throughout the day. At night, he'd sleep until around 7pm, then he'd be up for the duration of the evening. Anytime he fussed, we'd try to feed him. He was pooping about once every 1-2 days. We even started him on some infant oatmeal. That video is below:



He's had a slight tasting of mint ice cream on his lip as well as his mouth around the peak of a Hersey's kiss. I know...I'm a horrible person! (she says sarcastically)

By Brycen's 4th month, I can report that his smiles happen all the time. I can even get him to smile when he's trying so very hard to fuss. It goes from crying to smiling back to crying again. He recently picked up the ability to say "ahhhhhhh" very loudly and repeat it for 30+ minutes.  During his overnight feedings where he used to finish a bottle and flail back to sleep, he now "ahhhhh's" before settling down. Lucky for him, we think it's cute and it brings a smile to our tired faces.

Here's a video of the talking:




During this month, we try to give him one feeding of oatmeal with a spoon per day. We'll occasionally put some oats into his bottles, but that's not a regular thing at all. I let him put his tongue on a ruffled potato chip, and he made a face of distaste followed by a huge smile. He makes my heart sing...

Just recently, I've been able to get him to smile by saying Peekaboo! Even if I'm not hiding, I can say it and usually bring a smile to his face. Daddy has tried, but his voice apparently doesn't get high enough to prompt the smile.

Here's that video:




I am so blessed to have this little man as MY son. My husband and I are still in disbelief over who and what we created together. I don't know why God chose to give us such a wonderful child, but my plan is to raise him to be a man of great moral character. With our genetics, I expect him to be intelligent and attractive. ;) Making sure he knows how much his daddy and I love him will be my new life goal.

Free Daycare from Grandma Drama

My mother has severe panic disorder and anxiety. Her mental health issues have prevented her from driving most of my life. She no longer owns a car, and she no longer retains employment. She lives with my little brother, and she happens to be living off some very small savings.

While she wouldn't be my first choice in providing care for my son, she happened to be the only person who was home all day and willing to watch my son for free.

I work part-time for measly money. If I had to pay for daycare, my entire paycheck would literally be given to someone else. Considering I don't want my son in daycare before he's able to communicate, I had a huge problem with paying a stranger to care for the most important thing in my life. There was no way I wanted to work out of the home in order to pay a stranger to watch my son.

My mom offered to watch my son temporarily until my work hours could switch or until my husband could sign up for the USMC. Either option would have allowed us to keep our son free of all daycare. Unfortunately for everyone, my mom's panic disorder re-appeared.

While she suffers from anxiety everyday, she has been able to live panic attack free for many years thanks to avoiding triggers and taking meds. And while panic disorder is 100% curable, my mom chose to isolate herself from normal situations rather than get better. She offered to watch our son at most, 3 days per week and 3 hours per day.

With our son practically asleep in his car seat each day, I didn't think my mom would have anything to stress over. Instead, she began "what-if'ing" herself into panic. "What if I fall down? What if I have a heart attack? What if I die and no one is here to watch the baby??" These are the strange and irrational thoughts my mom has conveyed to me. Any death or accident on the news only made her thoughts worse. While working herself into a dysfunctional, irrational panic, she was basically screwing me over. She went from saying, "I hope you can get your hours changed soon," to, "I can't do this much longer," to, "I need someone with me to help watch him today," to, "I can't do it all anymore." All of her requests to me were understandable, but they just added to the daily stress I was under. I was stuck between my mom going crazy and my employer not budging on scheduling. My innocent, wonderful son was the poor soul caught in the middle.

I felt like we were risking his health and safety every time we brought him to my mom's house. She smokes. She curses. She yells. She has two barking dogs that are, at times, uncontrollable. Her "babysitting" was far from deserving of my son. Each day, I begged my husband to get more focused on losing weight, so he could re-enlist in the USMC. I was at a loss. With my mom talking herself into the nut house, I needed to do something.

She was telling me that my husband wasn't allowed to kiss our son when he dropped him off. She was telling my husband I was not allowed to get angry with her for canceling on daycare at the last minute. A father isn't allowed to love his child? A daughter isn't allowed to get pissed off about having no where to take her son? We have been so angry with my mom these last few weeks.

I quit my job. We sold our second car. I was going to be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) with no car to use unless my husband was home as well. Co-workers got wind of why I had quit, and one proposed to my director a solution that would enable me to continue working during the hours my husband was not working. Now, we will be trading the baby off. I will get off work, and my husband will be in the parking lot with our son. My husband will go to work, and I will drive home.

This situation is much better than the former. Even so, I hope and pray each day that my husband will take his health more seriously in order to better our family life. I want to try for a second child at some point, and I can't do that with our current home, car situation, and salaries. I really don't want his lack of will-power ruining our family planning.

Related articles

• Treatments for Panic Disorders (brighthub.com)
• What do you fear? (marjoriekayesbabylondreams.wordpress.com)
• When Anxiety Leads to Panic Disorder (everydayhealth.com)
• Understanding the Symptoms of Panic Disorders (brighthub.com)
• How Anxiety Disorders Affect Children (brighthub.com)
• Panic Attacks and Panic Disorder Therapy (arosen1980.wordpress.com)
• Women and Panic Attacks (everydayhealth.com)

More Budgeting

Mommy & Baby on Skype Webcam

So much has happened since I last posted, yet I find myself in almost the same exact situation as before.

I did a liberal hacking of my budget in order to justify working from home. We were losing our free daycare, but that's a separate post entirely. With my budget hacking, I needed to sell our second car and cut back on all unnecessary spending. I put my resignation in at work the day after I sold my car. The next day, my employer offered to work with my schedule in order to retain me. So, my new car search began....

Selling my car, quitting my job, getting rehired, and looking for a new car all sound like a lot of changes. Unfortunately, they all lead back to me living in this state, not being a SAHM, and my husband not re-enlisting in the USMC. So, I'm still stuck here waiting for a better life...

Related articles

• New used car - or just buyer's regret? (ask.metafilter.com)
• Black cars 'impress neighbours‎' (autonetinsurance.co.uk)

My Son Lifts My Spirits

I've been feeling down lately. My husband and son are great. Our living situation is not. I so desperately want to move away from where we currently live. My hubby wants to re-enlist in the USMC. If he does that, we get to move away, and I get to be a SAHM. Working my measly twenty hours per week is barely helping us squeak by. I can't make a budget that allows for me to quit working. The hours are in the middle of the day and my work is an hour away. I wish I was talented enough to create something worthy enough to sell from home. My hubby joining the military again is the best option for our family. The one thing holding us back is my hubby's physical fitness. He needs to pass a physical before they'd even consider him. With the horrible weather and our new baby, my hubby is finding it hard to workout. So, each day I find myself losing more and more hope of a better life.

Picky Sticky Update and More

Brycen 2 months picky sticky onesie

Here's Brycen's Picky Sticky from the 2 month shot I did. I'm going to try my best to keep him in neutral onesies and to keep placing him on the midnight blue towel we own. Once he's a little bigger, we'll have him in short sleeved onesies since it won't be sub zero cold outside.

I've been off work for three days (since I only work 4 days per week). My husband had to work all three days and two of those days were both 12 hour shifts. I feel like I haven't even seen him. I go back to work tomorrow, and it's his only day off this week. :(

We made a collective decision to rehome one of our dogs to better our family. She needs more exercise and attention from someone that has the time and space to give. We found a couple that lives somewhat nearby using Craigslist as an outlet. The couple agreed to adopt her but needed a week for the girl to move into her fiance's home. So, we're thinking this upcoming Saturday would be great. Once Sadie is gone, I think there will be a sudden calmness in our home. We still have my one and only furbaby, Kegger. He's 8 years old and going no where. He's a much calmer dog in his old age. He requires less walks and listens when we need to instruct him. Our vet bills with Sadie were sky high due to her mange outbreak. Our tiny budget can't afford to keep it up. We think Sadie will be much happier with this new couple. My husband is going to be beside himself next Saturday because she was like a daughter to him. It'll be tough, but at least we were able to scope out the future home and family. Here's Kegger and Sadie:

Kegger - rott/pit mix and Sadie blue-nose pit

Related articles

• Giveaway: A New Baby Prize Pack from Target (A $350 Value!) (celebritybabies.people.com)
• Christina Applegate Debuts Baby Sadie Grace (Photo) (sugarslam.com)
• "Forever Lazy" onesie hopes to take on Snuggie (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
• For the Ultimate Lazy Man, an Adult Onesie (newser.com)

My Reason for Living: My Son

This little man gives me purpose.

He gives me a reason to get up each day.

He makes me feel important.

He makes me feel needed.

This guy warms me heart with his smiles.

I've only known him two months, but I can't live without him.

Location : 2305 Aurora Dr, Pingree Grove, IL 60140,

My Son is 2 Months Old!

2 Month Old Goofy Smile

My little boy turns 2 months old today! I'm back at work (when I don't want to be), and he's smiling and cooing all the time.

We ordered Picky Stickies to be used for his monthly pictures. His '0' month was missed, and I had to Photoshop a fake sticker for his '1' month. He will officially be wearing a '2' month sticker for his pictures tomorrow.

I have to work tomorrow as well, but I will try to update his baby book with his 2 month stats. We're still amazed and shocked to have him as our son. We're both learning a great deal about how to be parents to a newborn. He's outgrowing his 0-3 outfits, so we're trying to rotate the clothing as much as possible. He needs to get some good wear and tear on these clothes.

It's deathly cold outside, so we're still hibernating as a family. I'm finding it hard to snap photos of B in natural light because our building faces the shade. I'll have to aim for early morning to get the natural light I need. Below is a picture of B in his '1' month Picky Sticky.

1 month Picky Sticky Photo

Related articles

• Talbots' Truly Terrible Photoshop Fail (PHOTOS, POLL) (huffingtonpost.com)
• Convert Color Pictures to Black and White using Lab in Photoshop (brighthub.com)
• Play "Guess the designers" from baby pictures at Design Observer (adland.tv)