March 28, 2011

15 Week Old Baby

My little sunbather
My son is roughly 15 weeks and 2 days old. I had to do a ticker to figure that out! I've grown accustom to just saying 3.5 months old. With pregnancy and early mommy-hood, I really obsessed over the weekly counts. Everything is moving like a blur now. Each day, my son is doing something new. I can't keep up.

Our baby book hasn't been updated for his 3 months. I'll try to log what I can remember in this blog, so I can reference it again later.

Let's see, by three months he was laughing in short chuckles, smiling with a big toothless grin, and making occasional sounds. He had started to fall into a more recognizable pattern throughout the day. He was going to bed around 1am and officially getting out of bed around 9am. The wakeups still vary throughout the night. He's awake in the morning with a diaper change, feeding, clothing change, and some playtime either in our arms or with toys on the playmat. There's a nap that follows, and he was usually getting driven to/from daycare throughout the day. At night, he'd sleep until around 7pm, then he'd be up for the duration of the evening. Anytime he fussed, we'd try to feed him. He was pooping about once every 1-2 days. We even started him on some infant oatmeal. That video is below:



He's had a slight tasting of mint ice cream on his lip as well as his mouth around the peak of a Hersey's kiss. I know...I'm a horrible person! (she says sarcastically)

By Brycen's 4th month, I can report that his smiles happen all the time. I can even get him to smile when he's trying so very hard to fuss. It goes from crying to smiling back to crying again. He recently picked up the ability to say "ahhhhhhh" very loudly and repeat it for 30+ minutes.  During his overnight feedings where he used to finish a bottle and flail back to sleep, he now "ahhhhh's" before settling down. Lucky for him, we think it's cute and it brings a smile to our tired faces.

Here's a video of the talking:




During this month, we try to give him one feeding of oatmeal with a spoon per day. We'll occasionally put some oats into his bottles, but that's not a regular thing at all. I let him put his tongue on a ruffled potato chip, and he made a face of distaste followed by a huge smile. He makes my heart sing...

Just recently, I've been able to get him to smile by saying Peekaboo! Even if I'm not hiding, I can say it and usually bring a smile to his face. Daddy has tried, but his voice apparently doesn't get high enough to prompt the smile.

Here's that video:




I am so blessed to have this little man as MY son. My husband and I are still in disbelief over who and what we created together. I don't know why God chose to give us such a wonderful child, but my plan is to raise him to be a man of great moral character. With our genetics, I expect him to be intelligent and attractive. ;) Making sure he knows how much his daddy and I love him will be my new life goal.

March 26, 2011

Free Daycare from Grandma Drama

My mother has severe panic disorder and anxiety. Her mental health issues have prevented her from driving most of my life. She no longer owns a car, and she no longer retains employment. She lives with my little brother, and she happens to be living off some very small savings.

While she wouldn't be my first choice in providing care for my son, she happened to be the only person who was home all day and willing to watch my son for free.

I work part-time for measly money. If I had to pay for daycare, my entire paycheck would literally be given to someone else. Considering I don't want my son in daycare before he's able to communicate, I had a huge problem with paying a stranger to care for the most important thing in my life. There was no way I wanted to work out of the home in order to pay a stranger to watch my son.

My mom offered to watch my son temporarily until my work hours could switch or until my husband could sign up for the USMC. Either option would have allowed us to keep our son free of all daycare. Unfortunately for everyone, my mom's panic disorder re-appeared.

While she suffers from anxiety everyday, she has been able to live panic attack free for many years thanks to avoiding triggers and taking meds. And while panic disorder is 100% curable, my mom chose to isolate herself from normal situations rather than get better. She offered to watch our son at most, 3 days per week and 3 hours per day.

With our son practically asleep in his car seat each day, I didn't think my mom would have anything to stress over. Instead, she began "what-if'ing" herself into panic. "What if I fall down? What if I have a heart attack? What if I die and no one is here to watch the baby??" These are the strange and irrational thoughts my mom has conveyed to me. Any death or accident on the news only made her thoughts worse. While working herself into a dysfunctional, irrational panic, she was basically screwing me over. She went from saying, "I hope you can get your hours changed soon," to, "I can't do this much longer," to, "I need someone with me to help watch him today," to, "I can't do it all anymore." All of her requests to me were understandable, but they just added to the daily stress I was under. I was stuck between my mom going crazy and my employer not budging on scheduling. My innocent, wonderful son was the poor soul caught in the middle.

I felt like we were risking his health and safety every time we brought him to my mom's house. She smokes. She curses. She yells. She has two barking dogs that are, at times, uncontrollable. Her "babysitting" was far from deserving of my son. Each day, I begged my husband to get more focused on losing weight, so he could re-enlist in the USMC. I was at a loss. With my mom talking herself into the nut house, I needed to do something.

She was telling me that my husband wasn't allowed to kiss our son when he dropped him off. She was telling my husband I was not allowed to get angry with her for canceling on daycare at the last minute. A father isn't allowed to love his child? A daughter isn't allowed to get pissed off about having no where to take her son? We have been so angry with my mom these last few weeks.

I quit my job. We sold our second car. I was going to be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) with no car to use unless my husband was home as well. Co-workers got wind of why I had quit, and one proposed to my director a solution that would enable me to continue working during the hours my husband was not working. Now, we will be trading the baby off. I will get off work, and my husband will be in the parking lot with our son. My husband will go to work, and I will drive home.

This situation is much better than the former. Even so, I hope and pray each day that my husband will take his health more seriously in order to better our family life. I want to try for a second child at some point, and I can't do that with our current home, car situation, and salaries. I really don't want his lack of will-power ruining our family planning.
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More Budgeting

Mommy & Baby on Skype Webcam
So much has happened since I last posted, yet I find myself in almost the same exact situation as before.

I did a liberal hacking of my budget in order to justify working from home. We were losing our free daycare, but that's a separate post entirely. With my budget hacking, I needed to sell our second car and cut back on all unnecessary spending. I put my resignation in at work the day after I sold my car. The next day, my employer offered to work with my schedule in order to retain me. So, my new car search began....

Selling my car, quitting my job, getting rehired, and looking for a new car all sound like a lot of changes. Unfortunately, they all lead back to me living in this state, not being a SAHM, and my husband not re-enlisting in the USMC. So, I'm still stuck here waiting for a better life...
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