More Pay Cuts

Well, business is going downhill fast. I wrote a while back about the mandatory 10% cuts in our pay. Now, we're officially forced to take 1 day off per week or basically a 20% pay cut. All these cuts together are cutting my pay officially to 28%. I've canceled my life insurance policy which was basically a sham. It automatically took $100.00 out of my checking account each month. I've paid off a Dell computer balance which I was setting aside about $205.00 in my savings account for the interest free financing. Now that it's paid off, I have that money back in my account. I need to start focusing now on cutting back my spending. We're still going out to eat far too often. The Texas vacation is over, so it's time to buckle down and eat at home. I think I've finally started losing some weight. For the most part, I've at least stopped the gaining of weight. We aren't eating pizza each week. The bf has stopped baking brownies every two weeks. We still have snacks and such, but we've really cut back on the cravings for dessert and fatty foods. If I'm not hungry, I don't eat. It's working out well. Now, I just need to find an additional income source.

Blogging Is Harder Than I Thought

I thought it would be nice to start up this blog to write about current events or what's going on in my life at any given moment. I have a problem using the internet. My interests change in waves. One week, I could be addicted to facebook and another week I can't stop checking CNN. Myspace has recently been dead to me. If I log on, I rarely search through it for anything. The same is true for this blog. I really only read Perez Hilton on a daily basis. So, I don't have any friends in the blogging community. Because I don't read and comment on other blogs, I don't get readers following me on here. I also don't think to update this blog very often. It's usually on my long list of things to do eventually.

When I have time. I try to write more than 1 post at a time. With this blog, I'm able to schedule future postings. If it weren't for that feature, this thing would be updated even less.

Safe at Work...For Now

Things have partially blown over for me at work. I now know exactly how my father feels about me, but I'm just avoiding him. My respect level for him is at an all-time low. My job is safe for now, but at any moment the tide can turn again. I just got back from a week-long vacation in Texas. I must admit, being away from the daily grind of my workplace and the common, repeating stresses of working at a family-owned business was a wonderful blessing. The weather couldn't have been nicer. Austin, by far, was my favorite part of the trip. We started in Dallas and eventually made our way to San Angelo to visit family. Austin was celebrated during Memorial Day weekend, and that city just oozes stress-free living. It's a college town, so there are many young people. We witnessed people riding bikes, playing Frisbee, swimming with family, and walking dogs. There was even a triathlon while we were there. Our group visited Whole Foods which had a flagship store located in downtown Austin. The store was swarming with healthy people. It was hard to walk through the aisles without at least 5 people in our way. It was refreshing to see people enjoying life.

I guess things have been pretty depressing for me for quite a while. I remember over a year ago telling my doctor that I thought I had depression. Whatever I had then couldn't hold a candle to how I feel now. I think, for me, life is getting harder and harder to enjoy. Money is a problem. My family brings daily stresses. My personal relationship with the bf is often strained. My "friends" are no longer in contact with me. I just want to be uprooted and planted somewhere happy. I'm financially tied to my current situation in every sense of the word. I have my car payments, my mortgage, my student loans, and my entire family is located nearby. Moving away from here would surely be a huge step which some family members would almost be offended by me doing so. I sit back and wonder, when can I finally start living my life?

Sitting at home feeling sorry for myself is no way to live. I'm gaining weight. The weather here isn't very accommodating. I really enjoy walking around outside during warmer days. Right now, it's barely 50 degrees and rainy. I want to just curl up into a ball, but my life continues whether I like it or not.