The more important of the two new items is MY PREGNANCY! I'm pregnant again! I'm so glad our attempts at trying to conceive worked this time around. We had a moment in May where I could have gotten pregnant, and it was so scary not being able to plan it. With the announcement of this pregnancy, I've had my fair share of questions related to whether this was planned or an accident. How could anyone possibly PLAN to get pregnant 7 months after having a baby. Surely, this was a big oops! Well, we did plan it. We bought ovulation test strips and we followed some methods to encourage a girl fertilization. I don't want my babies to be happy surprises. I want them to be happy accomplishments.
We only want two kids. My mind is forever dreaming about my two children growing up and doing things together. If my pregnancy is successful, they will be 15 months apart. I don't want to drag out pregnancies or baby things. I don't want to hold on to all this baby gear forever. I want to use it, reuse it, and sell it. My son will never remember life without his sibling. I love that my son is growing so fast. The more he learns, the more excited I get. Sure, I'll miss his baby stage, but that's why I take so many pictures and videos of him. I long for the days where my kids come running up to hug me on my way home from work. No way do I want to raise Bryce to be 3-4 years old before starting this process again. When my next child comes, Bryce will still be a baby. He won't be a crazy toddler screaming for attention. Sure, he'll be more difficult than he is now, but nothing like the terrible two's and three's.
My first doctor's appointment isn't until August 24th. It's hard waiting that long, but in the end, I'll have a nice clear picture of the ultrasound. Going in too early makes for a very boring image. I keep having dreams that I miscarried. Last night was very visual. It was as if I was inside my uterus and could see the lack of development. I'm not feeling pregnant. I'm not extremely tired, hungry, sick, bloated, emotional, sore, etc. To be honest, the lack of period and the positive pregnancy tests are the only two things reminding me I'm pregnant. I know, lack of symptoms is probably much preferred to having too many. However, I really wish I could feel pregnant. I'm generally worried about things, and I have to wait almost a month before finding proof. If I do miscarry, I can already predict the horrible comments of, "it's your body's way of telling you that you shouldn't have tried so soon." No woman wants to hear that her body rejected a pregnancy for a good reason. We'll cross that bridge if we need to.
My other news is I quit my job and went back to the family business. This new job is the same pay and hours as the last one. My schedule is different, and it's much closer to home. My son won't need to be driven back and forth every day. I will be able to call off work whenever I please. I can come in later if needed or stay later if needed. My family understands that I need the money and the flexibility. There's negatives to working there, but I'm going to do my best to avoid feeling negative or allowing myself to get wrapped up in family business drama. I just want to work to bring home money, and I don't want to take the flexibility for granted. I know working anywhere else would be much harder.
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