I've learned now that the wedding day is never really the bride's "Big Day." No matter what she's been dreaming of since her days of playing with Barbie, there are going to be people surrounding her and telling her how it's gonna be. I've tested this theory personally. As a control, I've made it a point to avoid any big day drama. I've made it quite clear that I want something small and intimate. I place more value on the marriage aspect and very little value on the money-waster that is, a traditional wedding day.
Upon making my point clear and also stating that we plan to marry, I've dealt with nothing but stress and drama. Those around us that proclaim their love are my biggest war enemies. This problem isn't limited to my side of the family or his side. On both sides, I face battles of individuals trying to force their ideas and values onto my little, intimate, Big Day.
Whether it's guest list problems or location problems. I have defend and justify my wants and desires. I want a select few to witness the ceremony, and I want it to be somewhere nice. I don't want to hear about localizing it nor about how I should begin inviting family members I've never even met. This day is about the fiancé and me.
Because I've lived through this experiment, although we almost canceled everything due to an attempt to increase the guest list, I can finally understand where the Bridezilla comes from. It's a girl who has to push and shove her way through the daily drama of friends and family trying to change her dreams of her wedding day. By the end of it, no one is there to support her because she didn't compromise. She stepped on toes to get what she wanted.
I tried to avoid all that drama by making things small, but in the end, it happens no matter what.
3 comments:
Yeah no matter what you do there will always always be drama. Sometimes even more so when you don't have a traditional wedding. When you go outside the "norm" that is when things get hairy. Just think this will be over soon & you two will be married. Just remember the light at the end of the tunnel. :)
Yeah, I've had some drama with the Fiance's aunt in California. It's long and drawn out, but it was agreed that instead of his entire extended family being at our small ceremony, that we would have a BBQ at the aunt's house the night before. Well, I commented on her FB page about being excited to meet everyone, and one of her friends also left a comment this morning. I woke up to a fb email alert saying, "I can't wait to meeting you in November. Remember, I'll be the waitress at the reception. Now, this is strange to me because the Fiance has never heard of this woman. As far as he knows, she's not a member of his family. So, that means this extended family BBQ has more guests than we thought and it's now being called a reception.
ARGH!
It's your wedding YOU I repeat YOU make the guest list. I'd immediately ask for who is family is supposedly inviting & make sure it is all people you know. Maybe you should do it at a restaurant or a park that way YOU are in control of who can come & you can send out the invites. That's just ridiculous -- your wedding is not a free for all!! lol
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