We've been covered in snow for months now. I'm going stir crazy sitting at home by myself with the two dogs. Only one of the dogs makes me happy. The other one is slowly killing me.
A girl from high school died last week. I didn't know her well, but her Facebook account is public. I wish I knew how she died. Aside from having a great job, beautiful face, and a loving boyfriend, you can tell by her pictures that she was an extremely pleasant and happy person. Why did God choose her? Was it a tragic car accident? What did she do?
I lay awake at night wondering why I'm alive. I can't imagine what purpose I actually serve. Aside from a handful of people, I doubt I'd be missed if my end came tomorrow.
I don't want to be in my bathrobe right now. I don't want to be overweight and depressed. I want to travel the world and get my hands dirty. I want to help others less fortunate than me. I looked into volunteering for Haiti, but they'd much rather have my cash than my presence. And once we start trying for a baby, I wont be able to travel the world.
How can I be useful now? Where can I work and have passion for what I do? When will I get out of this rut?
I want to be happy like the girl from high school. If I could trade places with her, I would. She was 24 and had so much going on. I can't see the point in life while I'm living it. Maybe one day I will look back on this period and understand.
Location : Pingree Grove, IL 60140,
2 comments:
I truly believe God created you for a great purpose. You seem like a super nice and sensitive girl, and I'm sure you've helped many people without even realizing with your sweetness. I think bad experiences can leave a bad tast in our mouths, and blur our vision of our self worth, but please remember this does not change the fact that you are EXTREMELY valuable, whether you feel it or not!
Now, about your purpose, I think only God can help you figure it out... You can ask Him in your mind and I promise He'll answer in some way. But you DO have a purpose, and a big one, that's for sure! :)
Yeah - I was really lost then. I found out later that the girl in my posting had actually killed herself because she felt like a burden to her family. Obviously, looks can be deceiving.
My child is giving me purpose. I'm not putting my happiness onto his shoulders, but I feel good knowing that I have someone to watch over and take care of.
Post a Comment