I think I repeat that phrase at least once per day. I've been repeating it for over a year now. I can't even remember the last time I exercised. I can easily remember the last time I cried over my weight. It was yesterday. I was tossing clothing into our donation box, and there were outfits that I've only worn once flying right into that box.
I just don't seem to have that final push to lose weight. I'm still eating foods that are terrible for my metabolism, terrible for my self esteem, terrible for my closet, and terrible for my life. It doesn't seem to matter. Day by day, I grow more and more uncomfortable with my body. My dress clothes for work are barely zipping and buttoning.
My energy levels are extremely low. I don't feel like waking up each day. I only really get excited about the thought of getting food. The biggest reason I used to be thin was that I didn't have an appetite. I didn't have any need for food. It wasn't exciting because I wasn't looking for excitement. I was looking for relationships with friends and guys. Now, I live with my best friend. We really enjoy our time together, but I can't fully enjoy anything with this weight problem.
I need to lose 40 lbs., and I don't know how many more I'm going to gain before I take the whole life change seriously.
Motivation would be nice right now...
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